Bound by Love: Sweet Trap of Daughterhood

Bound by Love: Sweet Trap of Daughterhood by Lucy Gilbert and Paula Webster

Book Report Written by: Angela Denise J. Harder

                A month ago our Principles of Mass Communication professor instructed us to get three books of our choice as long as it were under the category of what interests us, a novel, non- fiction, media, and women studies.

                I ended up getting two books about media and one book regarding women studies. Unfortunately, the two books from media were academic textbooks so I was left with the women studies book entitled Bound by Love: Sweet Trap of Daughterhood. I was really eyeing on this book honestly for the reason that it is hand carry, but then I guess I just had my luck because while I was scanning through it, I  somehow had an idea on what the book is about.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I decided to provide a review for each chapter so that it will be easy to understand the situations per segment. :)

Chapter 1: The dangers of Femininity

                This chapter started with an anecdote where in Sara, a nine year old girl, tried on her brother’s jockey shorts and white shirt into the bathroom and pulled her hair back. She was surprised when she was checking herself out that she saw a more masculine face looking back at her. She went into the kitchen to show her mother of her accomplishment, but then her mother was disappointed of what she saw, and so Sara had no idea why her mother felt upset. She felt humiliated when her mother explained to her that boys and girls must stay in their own place.

                This anecdote introduced us to what Chapter 1 is all about. Women and men are expected to act on what they are supposed to become and on what is truly meant for them because it is based on the proper gender relations. Women and men are totally different from each other with regards to their traits and boundaries set for them. In this chapter, a Real Man was presented to be the model of masculinity since a Real Man was the ideal type of what mothers want their sons to become. A Real Man is expected to act in a right way by standing up on his beliefs, and exercising his power to gain respect from others. Powerlessness is usually associated with femininity, because women are expected to be what men are not. This chapter presents that women have no choice, because even if she feels violated, she remains silent since it is under the culture’s belief that woman who dares is considered being out of gender.

Chapter 2: Mothers and Daughters

                In this chapter, girls are categorized in to three archetypes of femininity: The Princess, The Good Girl, and the Bad Girl. The Good Girl is held up as a role model for young girls who dream to be one because of her unending kindness to everyone. She deserves to be the princess, but never is. She is supposed to be selfless in relating to others, and must not be given too much credit for working hard because giving credit leads to authority and authority is associated to men.

                The Bad Girl is what girls are not allowed to be because her actions are alarming and unappealing. She also is everything that girls are warned about. The Princess is known to be the Daddy’s Girl and she deserves special attention from everyone.

                Mothers are expected to raise good girls, feminine and heterosexual daughters. In response, the daughters must be willing to learn from what their mothers know with regards to the limitations set by the cultural gender system. They are also expected to control their children by teaching them the do’s and don’ts.

Chapter 3: Daddy’s Girl

                In this Chapter the Father-Daughter relationship is examined. Despite the powerlessness usually associated with femininity, women must accept male authority. Through our relationship and interaction with our fathers, daughters get to understand gender relations. The father is supposed to let his daughter feel secured with his love and wants everything that is best for his daughter. He then wants and expects obedience, respect and love in return.  As the daughter matures, her father is worried because the daughter has now a bigger chance to lead her own life; in response the daughter gives assurance to her parents especially her father that she will take good care of herself.

Chapter 4: The Family Romance

                In this chapter, the daughter needs help from her parents in different ways. The daughter needs her mom because she is the person to whom the daughter runs to when she seeks for comfort and safety. The daughter needs her father as well, because it is through her father where she feels protected and loved.

Chapter 5: Love and Danger: The Incest Taboo

                The family where the daughter belongs may be a possible risk when the daughter’s dependence is violated. In this chapter, the daughter is expected to be obedient especially in submitting the demands that her parents want. This chapter also contain the experiences of daughters with their fathers seducing them. Incest occurs when the father makes himself available for his daughter’s sexual initiation.

Chapter 6: Rapes and the Rituals of Heterosexuality

                The daughter has now the opportunity to lead an independent life, but as she is exposed in the real world, she becomes a victim of rape. This chapter discusses the daughter hoping and waiting to be pursued and chosen by a man who will protect and love her. Nevertheless, when the man takes advantage of her goodness, power is used against her and violence may occur within their relationship.

Chapter 7: Love and Death: Battered Woman

                This chapter tackled about battering as an outcome of gender socialization where in women are victimized by men. Battering is usually experienced by women who are competent and women who function well in the public world. By these instances, the man feels deprived of the independency that the woman experiences and so by beating her, he feels that he is in control again.

Chapter 8: Emerging from Daughterhood

                In this chapter, women are supposed to confront the unpleasant experiences she had and leave daughterhood behind. The woman must feel that she has the power to control her life and have fun.

                This book helped me both as a media student and as an individual citizen because the book tackled issues about women, being maltreated and femininity being associated with powerlessness. It widened my knowledge regarding acts that women should avoid in order for them to live their lives happily. This book also helped me to encourage women who were victimized that they should fight for their rights as women.